While everyone has the same basic needs, there are many needs and requirements in a partner that are individual. There’s no one-size-fits-all solution for finding the ideal partner. Choosing a partner is a serious business. The right choice can turn out to be the best thing you’ve ever done. A poor choice may be the worst. Choose wisely.
Try these techniques to be thoughtful and intelligent when choosing a partner:
1. Determine your long-term goals. Any partner you choose will ultimately help you to achieve your goals or be an obstacle. With so many potential mates in the world, it doesn’t make a lot of sense to choose someone that will stand in the way of you accomplishing those things that mean the most to you.
2. Think about the kind of life you’d like to live. Do you dream of having a large family and living in the country? It would be better for you to avoid choosing a partner that doesn’t want kids and dreams of living in a penthouse in a major city.
3. Consider the character traits you most admire in a partner. Think back on previous relationships and make a list of those things you liked and disliked about each person. You can’t choose a partner solely from a checklist, but it’s helpful to know what you want and don’t want.
4. Ensure that you can talk to your potential partner. A long, successful relationship requires the ability to have conversations about a variety of topics. It’s not all fun and games. When there aren’t any distractions, it’s just the two of you. It helps if you can communicate well with each other.
5. Take a long road trip together. Long trips in the car can be boring, stressful, and a great way to test your compatibility. If you can’t sit together in the car for 10 hours straight, you might want to rethink your options. Schedule a trip!
6. Do you have enough in common? While not absolutely necessary, life can be easier if you share similar views on important topics like religion, politics, and others. Ensure that you have enough in common to minimize potential disagreements.
7. Come from a positive place. We do all kinds of crazy things when our lives are a mess. If you’re under serious financial pressure, you’re lonely, or facing other emotional stresses, consider sorting out your life before making any big decisions, such as committing to a new partner.
8. Take your time. Enjoy the process and take enough time to be confident you’ve found the right person.
9. Avoid confusing love and lust. The initial chemistry you share doesn’t always last. There’s a difference between infatuation and love. Strong feelings and smart feelings don’t always coincide. Allow the initial lust to die down and then see how you feel.
10. Give some new people a chance. You might think you have a type and stick to dating that type. Perhaps you should give someone else a chance, someone you normally wouldn’t. You might be pleasantly surprised. After all, your current process hasn’t worked yet.
Finding the partner who’s best for you can be a significant challenge. The right partner can make life feel like heaven. The wrong partner, not so much. Give the selection process a chance to help you make a positive choice.